Short screenplay from the Done Deal "Geek" contest, Feb 2008 "Just Testing" FADE IN: INT. WHITE ROOM - DAY Everything is seen through the LCD viewer of a DV camera. PENNY, a pretty in pink teenager, sits at a table, chewing bubble gum. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) I'm going to pick a random number and write it down. PENNY Three hundred and seventy-five. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) I hadn't written it down yet. It's important, for the purposes of this test, that I write it down first. Penny looks away, miffed. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) I'm going to think of another number. Please don't say anything. Penny inspects her nails, whatever. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) I've picked a random number and written it down. Voice of Authority's hand holds up a card so the camera can see it Penny can't. The number is 101,789 Penny pops her gum, she couldn't care less. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) Penny? PENNY You told me not to say anything. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) Can you guess the number? PENNY No. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) Are you saying your talent is intermittent? PENNY I don't have to guess, I know what it is. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) I didn't mean to imply you were taking a wild guess without knowing. It was only a figure of speech. I apologize. Can you tell me the number I've written on this card? PENNY (big sigh) One hundred and one thousand, seven hundred and eighty-nine. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) That is correct, thank you. Voice of Authority holds up another card, it shows a blue triangle. VOICE OF AUTHORITY These images-- PENNY Blue triangle. Voice of Authority holds up another card, a red square. PENNY Red square. Voice of Authority holds up another card, wavy green lines inside a purple hexagon. PENNY Green waves, purple thing with six sides. We've done this like, a thousand times. How many more tests do you need? VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) All right. Just a couple more. Voice of Authority slides a sealed brown envelope across the table. Penny stares at it. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) Can you tell me what's inside this? PENNY It's a photograph. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) Are you able to tell me what it's a photograph of? PENNY A woman. She's worked with you for two years. You've been screwing her for the last six months. She says she's going to leave her husband and move in with you, but she won't. He earns four times what you do. She fakes her orgasm. Penny giggles. Voice of Authority snatches the envelope away. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) That's enough! Can we focus, please? PENNY (still giggling) Sorry. Voice of Authority slides a white envelope across the table. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) What about this one? PENNY It's just a bunch of squiggles. Voice of Authority pushes a notepad and pen across the table. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) Can you write them down for me? PENNY This is SUCH a waste of time. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) I assure you it serves a useful purpose. Please. PENNY Yeah right. Penny sighs, opens the notepad and writes. She turns the notepad round and shoves it back at Voice of Authority. PENNY Happy now? Voice of Authority lifts up the notepad. His hand trembles. Penny's drawn a vertical column of Chinese ideograms. VOICE OF AUTHORITY (O.S.) You understand Chinese? You know what this says? PENNY Well... not really... it's just some crap about some guy who can read the President's mind and knows what he's thinking all the time. Penny pops her gum. PENNY Well duh, it's what you're thinking. Oh suuuuure, like a Chinese guy can get that close to the President. Not unless he's a waiter. Or some kind of... White House... staff person... Oh man, like that guy we saw when we... oh jeez. POP! Penny's head jerks back, crimson blood spatters the wall behind her. Penny keels backwards, falls out of sight. Voice of Authority lowers a silenced pistol. VOICE OF AUTHORITY Suspicions about test subject proven correct. Latent extrasensory powers were developing at an exponential rate. Subject has been terminated. Other students who accompanied her on the school visit to the White House will also be tested, but I think we've found our girl. Tell our mole he's okay. Till next time. Freaking espers give me the creeps. The camera LCD is turned off. FADE OUT§